Somewhere in our county there is a massive old limestone bridge over which a railroad company had once run its trains. Today, having found myself in the area and with a bit of time on my hands, I set out to find it. However, all I knew was that it was somewhat southeast of an … Continue reading How to Keep Going When Love is Not a Victory March
I have a Facebook friend who excitedly counted down the days until spring break when she could finally spend a bunch of quality time with her kids. That’s beautiful and amazing and inspiring and foreign to me. You see, for me, the looming inevitability of spring break was foreboding, a feeling I’m sure (or at … Continue reading All He Wants is to Feel Safe and Loved
Today I sat down to write for The Foster Dads, fully knowing that recently I’ve been far less consistent than I should be if I want to maintain a steady readership. As I scrolled through my list of potential article topics, I realized that I couldn’t write about any of them. It’s not that I … Continue reading Exhausted. Worn Down. Bitter.
In the early- to mid-2000s, there was a delightful fantasy adventure show on Nickelodeon called Avatar: The Last Airbender. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s the story of a boy named Aang, the Avatar, who is basically the chosen one to save the world from the conquering Fire Nation. While the show is technically for kids, it … Continue reading Uncle Iroh’s Lessons for Foster Parents
Throughout this series about rethinking control, I’ve written about how you’re completely in control of yourself and nothing else. This includes your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. When you have a skewed understanding of what you can and cannot control, you may find yourself dealing with anger. One of the things that you cannot control, and … Continue reading Rethinking Control, Part 5: Giving Away Control to Meet the Needs of Children with Attachment Difficulties
So far in this series on rethinking control, we’ve established that you are in complete control of yourself...and not a whole lot else. The inverse of this relatively unfortunate reality is also true: you are not in control of other people, including and especially your children. But for whatever reason, we have this expectation that … Continue reading Rethinking Control, Part 4: Helping Your Child Develop Their Internal Sense of Control
If you’ve read the first two parts of this series, you’re already aware that there’s so much in life we simply can’t control no matter how much we want to. Losing control, or realizing we never had the control we thought we had, causes us distress that often turns into anger. For those of us … Continue reading Rethinking Control, Part 3: 15 Things You Can Control Right Now